THE BEATITUDES PEOPLE: FAMILY MENTAL HEALTH PODCAST
[The Beatitudes People: Family Mental Health Podcast is offline while being merged into The Proverbs 31 Family Outreach.]
Happy New Year, everyone! The Beatitudes People podcast is a year old now. We’ve had an identity struggle through 2020. 2020 ended up being a time in the secret place rather than a launch into the public sphere for this podcast. That was unexpected. But as with many things this year, if we take a moment we might see the fruit of transformation, and that what seemed like the ultimate stalemate was actually a time of being pulled back to spring forward. Today I am going to share some thoughts from 2018 that have more relevance today than I could have imagined when I wrote them. Here we go:
The highlights of the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth are undoubtedly their visitors: the angel Gabriel and the Virgin Mary. With such spiritual mega-stars just dropping by, I hope Elizabeth kept her guest towels fluffy. The fact that the Virgin Mary came to visit her kind of validates Elizabeth spirituality, right? Isn’t that how we measure people? If not by what they do, then by who they associate with?
I don’t want to focus on Mr. and Mrs. Zechariah’s A-list guests. I want to look at the lowly and boring aspects of Elizabeth and Zechariah’s moment in history– that is five months of seclusion and nine months of silence. Seclusion and silence. The period of their story that you’d label with, “Loser.”
At the time I originally wrote this, I was a SAHM. (Have you heard that one? An acronym for “stay at home mom.”) I was a SAHM to a two year old child, so seclusion and silence were painfully familiar to me. Well– my house of course wasn’t then, and is not now, silent. But I was silent. In 2018, I wrote:
I hear the deafening vacuum of my voice in the world getting sucked preemptively out of my lungs. Being at home without any agency to be in public, participate, contribute, and be measurably productive has been demoralizing for me.
The cabin fever I experience is due in part to a serious illness I suffered at age 23. It took about 7 years for me to recover. This brain illness– that I was diagnosed with just one year out of college– is scientifically studied as being triggered by ‘life goal achievement.’ In other words, the closer I get to reaching what I’ve been working toward the more likely I am to relapse. This illness clipped my wings. It cooped me up and walled me in. Seclusion and silence have been persistent and painful themes in my adult life particularly in the areas of career and calling.
I have difficulty valuing my role as a mother and wife sometimes… or a lot of the time. There is a gap in my adult experience- working before the domesticated life- that gap aches. The heady, haughty accomplishments of a young woman in her twenties are just an imagination for me. I never got to be one of the obnoxious, quasi-feminist marketing-freelance-event planning activists from a 90’s RomCom, I guess. I often feel that because of my illness, I didn’t get to choose, and that as a mom my choices continue to be limited. I lack agency in my life. At least by perception, I do.
So the blog excerpt I just quoted was written about three years ago. Now, in the midst of nine months of stay at home orders in California, the frustration expressed above seems silly! But, I’ll continue quoting it because the ideas get good from here! Ok, again from 2018:
The story of Zechariah and Elizabeth is a story about how lacking agency, being secluded, and being silent can be the description of the prescription God has given you right now in preparation for what is upcoming in His kingdom and on His agenda. Luke 1-3 is the preparation period for Christ’s ministry. Those three chapters have a theme of preparation, and within that theme the conditions for preparation are: lacking agency, being secluded, and being silent.
The first character we meet in the book of Luke is Zechariah. If there is anyone who should be prepared for a special assignment, it is Zechariah. He is a priest! We meet him in the Temple burning an incense offering on the altar. A righteous man, in ministry, ceremonially cleansed for special worship when the angel Gabriel tells him personally the assignment that God has for Zechariah’s life. And he blows it. He speaks doubt. So he is put on mute until God’s work is done.
You’ll notice the other characters in this story do a lot of praising and prophesying. During this prep time for both John the Baptist and Jesus Christ negative speech was silenced and only praise and prophecy were allowed. Sometimes we need to be silenced for our own sake because if given a voice we would discredit and disqualify ourselves from the magnitude of service God is hiring us for.
Zechariah also had agency. He was the one who was given a command to do something. Elizabeth had no agency. Mary had no agency. Yet, they were able to quietly and calmly ponder what was happening, and be faithful in obedience. Sometimes having agency can be a stumbling block— particularly when the day’s mission is preparation for action, not action itself.
In the days leading up to Mary’s visit to Elizabeth, preparation was a calling unto itself. Jesus was about to be born! This was a delicate and simultaneously monumental moment. The web of political movement, spiritual warfare, and human rebellion was on a knife’s edge. There was no room for error. There was no room for disbelief. There was no room for Christians who feel the need to grandstand, or demand a well-lit platform for their spiritual giftings, or to be given a more interesting assignment in a more exotic locale. God did not need people of position for this job; or people who were eloquent, or opinionated, or understanding, wise, or insightfulful, nor did He need people who were talented, young or beautiful. He needed barren old Elizabeth because she was a believer. Sometimes it’s less about what we put out into the world and more about what we take in and “ponder in our heart” about God.
The call for that day was inaction. It was quiet receptiveness. It’s expression was praise, prayer, and prophecy. Elizabeth and Mary gathered together in seclusion to share their testimonies with each other. This built them up in faith and courage for what was to happen— their ministries would both end with the broken hearts of having martyred sons.
Now, I am definitely not proposing that the role of women in ministry is a silent, secluded submission. Zechariah was after all the one who had his speech taken away. Nor do I think a woman’s ministry is only “her home, husband, and children.” I am saying that if you feel that you do not have agency; if you feel isolated, shut down, blocked, frustrated; if you are a mom with young kids; if you are a person who is ill or taking care of someone ill; if that’s you, know that a lack of human agency has never stopped God. You don’t need to be able-bodied for God to call you up for duty. You don’t need to build up your resume before God will call your name. If God wants you qualified, He’ll qualify you.
Women as a rule lack agency more than men do. Even powerful and wealthy women often lack agency both within and outside their homes. But in her lack of agency, Elizabeth, a faithful woman led her unbelieving husband into belief. He got in his own way—kind of like I do to myself! What he had didn’t help him. What Elizabeth didn’t have did help her, and preserved her family’s usefulness to the Lord in that appointed moment.
Our belief encourages others to believe. While we believe, the testimony we build inspires those in relationship with us to turn their eyes to the Lord also. In those moments where we feel completely imprisoned by our situation, our sickness, our disability, or our social disadvantage, [or in 2020, COVID!], we have to remember that our humble morsel of belief is the thing of value.
Our belief alone can be our gentle contribution for the colossal good of our community. Or our belief can be for the good of our relationships, our partners, or our family. In Elizabeth’s case, it was for the good of the world throughout history!
I don’t need to be able; I need to be willing (Luke 1:38.) Today, that willingness is honoring what I don’t have, and knowing that being busy for God is not as important as being ready for God.
Have a blessed New Year. Know that God is the master of seasons…nine months in lockdown has already been to long, but we wait as long as it takes for God to complete the formation of new life. Keep looking forward!BLESSINGS, NATALIE